One bottle turns to ten
by tantalus troupe
Summary: Shepard finds herself waking up from a night of binge drinking and find the list of regrets and moments that come with being hungover. Not only that she finds herself waking up in a sticky situation. Dont take too seriously. Also I love all ME characters any portrayed as mean is just for story sake. M for mature audiences takes place during ME2
1. Intro: The Morning After

The dim lights in her room felt bright. Brighter than usual. Brighter than staring straight at the sun even. When she opened her eyes to the bright lights a wave hit her; massive sickness, splitting headache, body aches, and a dry mouth. By the Gods why did she feel so awful and sick? Shepard tried sitting up putting her legs over the side of her bed. The thought of standing was too hard. She looked down she was completely naked. Night sweat? Was she coming down with something? Maybe some type of cold she would've caught somewhere. She moved her foot and it hit something cold she looked down to see a empty bottle of whiskey on the floor. It wasn't a cold, it wasn't night sweats.  
She was incredibly hung over.  
Shepard ran her hand through her bed head putting her head between her legs she tried to remember last night. What happened? She tried to retrace her steps from last night but most of it seemed like such a huge blur. Shepard remembered coming back on the ship. From where? Where was their last mission? Se couldn't even remember where she was before this or her mission. Lights, dim lights, and laughter. Not just laughter but yelling and screaming. The team. She sighed and massaged her neck looking at the bottle again she saw a red skull and cross-bones on it. Thats right.

Yesterday her team had taken down a ship of filthy space pirates. The battle wasnt hard or long as pirates aren't very good fighters when you catch them in the middle of their drinks at night. They had taken them down easily and taken the data the pirates had stolen from Sha'ira for blackmail. It had a list of all the species who had seen her for 'private reasons.' As a reward not only did they receive a large amounts of credits but decided to keep some spoils from the ship. By spoils it meant just loads and loads of liquor that formed a trail to Shepards bed. It came back like a flood that they kept the ship docked at the Citadel and the entire crew consumed gallons of illegal liquor of all kinds. Dear god her crew.

"Ohhhh," Shepard froze. Something behind her on the other side of her bed was moaning. In swift movements she grabbed a piece of her sheet holding it over her breast. A lump on the other side of her bed was slowly moving. She didn't remember this. She didn't remember taking anyone to her quarters. She looked at her floor among the trail of liquor was pieces of her armor and someone else's. Kaiden and her probably made up after their very awkward and public friend-zoned conversation on the colony Horizon. Kaiden and Ashley had agreed to stay with Shepard just awhile on some of her mission just to see for themselves that they were doing good. It had been rocky for them but not just that it was weird. Kaiden helped out the crew but what small conversations they had made her embarrassed. He loved her and they had something before she died could they have finally rekindled their feelings?  
"S-Shepard?" The lump called out. Shepard had spaced out staring at the fish when she looked over at the lump. It wasnt a lump though. Her face turned beet red she finally stood up backing away wrapping her sheet ver her naked body. It wasn't Kaiden. It was Garrus.


	2. Chapter 1: Stain on the Carpet

There was a long silence between them. Garrus sat up in Shepards bed holding his head in his hands most likely suffering the same pains she was. But how did he get here? I mean obviously she let him in but she didn't remember letting him in or even letting him into her bed.

"Shepard are you going to keep gawking at me. I know I am stunning and all,"

"S-Shut up!" Shepard blushed putting her hand out to keep him from talking. "How did this happen Garrus? How? What happened?"

Garrus sighed scratching the back of his head keeping his eyes looking out to space as if it would give him the answer they were both looking for. It wasn't that Shepard had not thought of it before there had been times where she had playfully flirted with him. Looking at his body it wasn't that she didn't feel attracted to him. Garrus began speaking interrupting her thoughts, "I am not too sure last thing I remember was Jack taking her top off and trying to let Joker allow her on his lap," Garrus made a face "Thats something I wish I could forget," the look Shepard gave him showed she wasn't in the mood for jokes. "After that its all a black blur one moment I am talking to Tali and the next..." He waves his hand over the bed, "I woke up here. Wait you don't think. Did we? Did I?" Garrus held his head in shame which wasn't making Shepard feel better about herself. Shepard looked at the sheet around her body her mattress and the floor. There was stains everywhere that could've been from anything from drinks to bodily fluids, she collapsed into the bed. Garrus had never really been into humans they were a species he was not use to. Shepard had always strike him as different she was brave and strong and her curves really got to him.

"I know we talked about sparring," Garrus began and she held her hand up to silence him.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_"_Shit! Who could that be?!" Shepard started making her way to her door but turned her heels around. "I cant let them in whoever it is cant know you were here. I cant have this getting out onto the Normandy,"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_"Commander it is Kaiden at your door shall I tell him that you are busy seeing to the turian?" _EDI popped up by the door.

"For the love of God EDI Log off. LOG OFF!" Shepard yelled at her ships AI. "Look Garrus just-" Shepard turned around to see Garrus standing completely naked, she shrieked, turning her back to him. "Garrus! Put something on cover yourself!"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

"JUST A MINUTE!" Shepard called out. Garrus grabbed a pillow with one hand putting it in-front of his lower body and with the other taking his armor in one swoop he went into the bathroom. "I have to say Shepard this has to be my oddest morning yet," He looked down at her as she grabbed the the last of his arm throwing it in the bathroom floor. "Not that I am not enjoying the view." He nodded to her body covered in the sheet she wore tightly around her. Shepard blushed and angered by his coolness about this and tried to keep the splitting headache and vomit ashore for just a little longer.

Shepard sighed going to her desk she shouted out "COME IN" burring her face in her hands. Kaiden came walking in an ice-pack to his head his civilian shirt unbuttoned to show a white tank underneath he had socks on and pants but seemed to be lacking his shoes.  
He came in turning to see his Commanding Officer huddled in her desk chair indecent. It wasn't the nakedness that bothered him it was just who she was that did.  
Kaiden loved her and yet seeing her no matter what he felt it was always shadowed by his biggest feeling; betrayal. "Commander I can come back later if you are not well. Most of us are spending our day huddled over toilets and sinks with large mugs of coffee. If you can call what that cook makes coffee." He offered her some in a thermos in his other hand but she shaking her head politely declining but offered him to pull up a chair. Kaiden shrugged leaning against her desk as she look up at him with swollen eyes and smeared mascara.  
"This," She pointed at her current attire, "doesn't bother you?" Kaiden shook his head putting his ice-pack down on the table rubbing his temples. "Commander-"

"Shepard," she corrected him.

"Shepard," he repeated back "If you recall before our final fight we were both wearing a lot less," Kaidens heart tugged a little the night had become bittersweet to them both he knew it tugged at her to so he tried to fix the topic he damaged. "Did you have fun last night? I do remember you taking a couple shots with Williams. I believe it was right before Mordin convinced us all he could do the worm," he took a swig of his 'coffee' bitter but not in the way bitter coffee should taste. "By the way in case you were wondering he wasn't able to."

"Thank you for telling me the fate of everyone on this ship was hanging in the balance," She smiled weakly at him. "Was there a reason for this morning visit? Or are you making rounds to all the hungover soldiers today?" she got up motioning Kaiden over to the couch by her bed dragging the sheet around her body behind her. Trampy was the only word she could use to describe how she felt that morning but seeing Kaiden lifted her spirits slightly. Shepard was aware he still harbored feelings against her, but he was checking up on her and that was something. Kaiden chuckled he sat down next to her making sure to not get too close but close enough their knees almost touched. "Something like that," he began putting his hand on her knee. This caused her to go a little stiff.

"Comma- Shepard. I know that things have been. Odd. Awkward even. I just want you to know that I have tried and I will put that behind us,' he grabbed her hand looking up into her eyes. "I know right now as always the fate of the world needs to be taken care of first and what happened. That one night and those many nights after, wont be forgotten and you have your reasons for being with these people we both know are crooked. But, I want to try to fix us if not as a couple but as a friends even. If that is okay?" he gave a soft smile to her.  
Shepard smiled back "I would like that a lot Kaiden," she squeezed his hand. "I know it took you a lot of courage to say that and please forgive me for everything and know everything I am doing if for mankind greater good. You'll see." Kaiden nodded as he stood up "I should go I just wanted to get that out of my system," he began heading to the door. "Kaiden," she stopped him before he opened it leaning against the fish taken scaring all the fish away.

"Yes?"

"What changed your mind? About me?" Kaiden turned facing her searching her face for something he didn't see. Like he had more to say. She waited patiently as he kept opening his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He stood there staring in her eyes before he spoke again;

"I had too much to drink guess it gets some people thinking. Unless your Grunt who is still asleep in the shower, or Joker and Jack who are curled up in the med beds, or Garrus who no one seems to find." Shepard eyes widened and she tried to slow down her breathing "Garrus? MIA? That isn't good." Kaiden shrugged opening the door walking out "He is probably hidden somewhere with Kelly. Keep the coffee," the door closed behind him. Shepard stood their in silence clutching the blanket. Great. That was just what she need was for Kelly to find out about this.

"Thats sweet he forgave you," Garrus was leaning against the bathroom door fully dressed. Shepard threw the thermos at his direction herding him to get out.

An hour later she was showered, dressed, and filled up on medication to help her forget that night happened. Showered figured she should see how everyone else was coping that morning.

* * *

The elevator down felt like it took a million years to go down. Shepard didn't want to think she want to ignore every thought in her body. She didn't want to think about Kaiden, his feelings and hers and how he just friend zone the shit out of her. She didn't want to think about Garrus naked in her bed.  
Her body heated up she shifted slightly her face becoming flush. Shepard shook it off reminding herself of everything wrong with every thing in her mind. There were times she had thought of it. Garrus had been her first friend who trusted her when she came to Cerberus to believe in her. Kaiden...Kaiden just kicked her aside. Shepard punched the elevator right as it opened scaring a crew member.  
"Sorry," she mumbled passing the crew member. Today wasn't her day and it was only 9 a.m.

Most of the crew was dragging their heel everywhere. Bottles littered each floor of the Normandy completely with shameful heads only at the floor. The entire Crews Deck reeked of alcohol. Shepard made her way to the kitchen grabbing some bread to help settle her stomach and a mug of coffee. Making her way to the mens restroom where EDI politely tell her that this wasn't the women's restroom and it was located on opposite side of the hallway. Shepard ignored her knocking on the mens restroom door knowing Grunt he was still passed out asleep on the floor which was best considering it could be worse.

KNOCK KNOCK "Grunt?" she opened the mens restroom door to find Grunt asleep on the floor. Shepard sat down next to him as he slowly opened his eyes

"Shepard," he answered groggily

"Grunt," she bit into her piece of bread handing him some. "Would you like some Grunt?" he pushed it away from his face "Why does human Shepard offer Grunt bread?" Shepard leaned against the tile wall chewing on her bread trying to fill her empty stomach. "Well, Grunt you are from a tube. I am sure that alcohol is something that you are not used to and bread or other starchy food helps you feel better."

"Fine. I do not need these starch foods human Shepard. My body can heals very quickly from liquor side effects."

"Side effects?" Shepard drank some of her coffee. It was salty. "Liquor makes Humans weaker than they already are. It makes them fuzzy It makes them soft. A Krogan could just feed a group of humans liquor and take their team in seconds. Now please leave me to finish my slumber." Grunt shuffled his body and peacefully fell back to his Krogan rest.

Shepard sat on the floor puzzled she grabbed her coffee and headed across the hall. She found Kasumi in her usual chair. For this room being the crime scene of last night endeavors it was spotless which was like Kasumi not wanting clutter that wasn't hers. "Commander," She offered her a seat next to her which Shepard took sipping on her horrible coffee. "Something you need?" Shepard nodded, "I need information Kasumi and you are the best person to get it from."  
"What do you need? A new mission? Target?"

"Not necessarily. I need to know what happened last night." Shepard held her head down embarrassed to be asking such a high spoken of thief for gossip.

"I am sorry Commander but I also took part of last night festivities I am afraid the most I could tell you is what the bathroom floor looked like. Normally I would be bleeding with information but again, sorry Commander." Kasumi shrugged her shoulders and continued to just stare into space like she always did. Silently Shepard stood up and headed to the crew deck. Shepard saw Ashley and Kaiden in the corner speaking. Not sure if she should be forcing herself on Kaiden already she turned her back and headed to the elevator back to her quarters.  
PING

When the door opened and Shepard looked up to see Kelly all she could think was Grunt was right, give humans alcohol and theyre pretty much screwed.


	3. Chapter 3: I See Everything

"Commander Shepard!" Kelly pulled out her biggest smile as Shepard boarded the elevator. "I was just headed up to go feed your fish for you considering how many you go through," Kelly pressed the button for the top floor. Shepard sighed the last person she wanted to be in an elevator with was Kelly right now, even a Collector sounded better. "Its all right Kelly I can feed my own fish. How are you feeling?" Shepard pressed the button but the second floor not giving Kelly any ideas to follow her up.

"Oh I am fine Commander I wouldn't worry about me last night reminds me of my time at college. Nothing I couldn't handle or so to say."

"Kelly may I ask you something strictly confidential?" Shepard stomach turned a little She wasn't too sure hoe this conversation would go she wasn't even sure of the topic was right but she had to at least say something. She had to handle it however she was a Commander she had to handle it like one. "Of course Commander you can ask me about anything."

Shepard took a deep breath, "If you are getting involved of one of the crew members I have hired for our special tasks I would suggest treading lightly. I need my team at their best and not getting roped into other engagements taking up their mind." Kelly looked stunned and laughed "Oh COmmander you don't have to worry about me I may have certain...attractions. However, they wont interfere I promise. Plus I would be worried about you parting too hard. You looked like you were having fun. It must be nice to have Williams and Alenko back. Even if you two aren't together."

Shepard looked stunned looking over at Kelly, "Kelly who told you that?" Kelly had shifted her feet back and forth watching the number turn to Two. "Oh word has been getting around since Horizon. Anyway Commander," The door _PING _letting them know they arrived at Level 2 "I will see you later." Kelly got out of the elevator and Shepard kept the door open. "Kelly..." Kelly turned around facing the Commander

"I don't appreciate childhood gossip running around my ship taking command of my ship. I would also appreciate keeping our relationship more of a professional level and if you catch word of things like this getting out I suggest that you learn what should and should not be said."

The Elevator door closed before Shepard could see Kelly's face.

* * *

Shepard sat her desk staring at the picture of Kaiden on her desk, did she really need it? She held the photo in her hands for a moments before putting it face down on her desk. EDI Popped up by her door "Commander Docotr Mordin has arrived shall I unlock the doors?"  
"Yes of course EDI." Shepard had ask for EDI to make her floor or any means of reaching her from the crew beside Joker unavaliable, she had informed the crew they would be dockedin the Citadel for awhile before taking off giving them time to relax and the time she needed to herself. Mordin came through Shepard quarters as she stood to shake his hand. "Mordin sorry to take you from your lab I know your time is valuable.  
"Valuble? Yes. Trying to save universe not easy with so many. Intteruptions. Shepard what do you need. Time. Very busy." Shepard offered him a seat next to her on her couch which he took tapping his foot imaptianrlty or from excitment she could never tell. "I need to know if there is a substance that helps you get back memories."

"Not Impossible. Very hgihly unlikely however. Gray box only source that cant do that. Very fragile equitmewnt. Very fragile mind. Not reccoming Commander so such thing to body. Even so, would have need in body before memory even happened." Shepehered face dropped and she sighed, "I see. Well thank you Mordin."

"Shepard not well I see. Effect of alcohol still effecting inside of body. May need treatment. Rest I suggest. If memories are needed I suggest consulting EDI of Normandy cameras. Sory not much can do very busy. Do not need anymore of crew comming to me for answers. May lock up office like Shepard locks herself up." Mordin patted Shepard on the shoulder before letting himself out. Mordin was right maybe she needed to just rest. But the idea of the cameras was too much to pass up she would need some time. But, why was she obessing over something? Speeches, meetings, and constant talks with her crew to stay focus to stay on target and the all commanding officer herself couldnt let this small thing go. If Jack was here she would tell her to get her head out of her own ass. She needed to let it go she needed to just go kill things or go on a mission and keep busy. But, it kept itching in her mind.

"EDI," Shepard made her way back to her desk opening up her perosnal temrinal. "Yes Commander Shepard how may I be of assistant?"

* * *

Shepard had begun running her team ragged. They had become a non stop mission fighting team and Shepard wasn't stopping for anything. From anything like finding forged IDs to any homing beacon that they found she was solving it. In a week alone they had taken down two Blue Suns groups, and infiltrated a major Blood Pack heist. It was getting to the point that when Shepard said they were going on a mission some of them would even hide. Team members like Kasumi and Thane hid in the shadows easier than other members. When Shepard asked Garrus to come along it was mostly for missions that involved him in high places snipering and away from her. Shepard had begun taking her meals in her room and coming down to check up on research or to speak to the crew about missions and then would head back up to her room.

It wasn't that she was avoiding anyone, no she didn't really, she was trying to keep busy stay focused and pretend she didn't sleep with one of her team members and get dumped by another. Shepard was down in the kitchen with Kaiden and Ashley who had been joining her on her missions for a while now before they finally told her they were taking off.

"Look Shepard I don't trust Cerberus. I don't trust what they believe in and I don't trust their resources." Ashley pointed out as Shepard was grabbing food to go back into hiding. "Williams..." Kaiden began before she interrupted him, "She needs to hear it. Shepard you kick ass you take names you single-handedly saved the Council. If you think this is how you're going to save the world then all we can do is support you from afar." Shepard put down the sandwich she was making. She wasn't surprised in fact what surprised her was that they had stayed this long. "I need them. I need them to help build a team and fight the Collectors. The Council will not help so I will take any means necessary to get what I need,"  
Ashley and Kaiden exchanged a look. They had worked a long tim together, saved the world together even weather they had supported her or not Shepard would do what she wanted. "Shepard just don't get yourself killed. Please for our sakes watched your back." Ashley grabbed Shepard's hand for a second letting her know that to hell and back they would support her which is all they could do. "Thank you. Now if the Alliance saw it the same way. We will stop the Collectors don't worry even without the help of the Council or Alliance. Thank you both of you, you'll be proud in the end." Shepard grabbed her food as she walked away called out, "Ill have Joker send you to your drop off points."

Shepard pressed the elevator button knowing that them being here even for such a short time was hard. To even step foot on the ship means a lot to her because they both had meant a lot to her. Even if Kaiden didn't seem so close over time it would heal.

"Shepard," Goddammit, was all she could think. One day shell put in her own private elevator or start sneaking through the air ducks to get some privacy. Shepard turned around to be greeted by Ashley Williams. "One more thing, I know Kaiden said he talked to you about everything," Ashley pushed back her brown hair averting her eyes and Shepard tried not to get upset that her private life might as well be a newspaper. "I am just happy that you and I can still be able to be close with each other."

"Yes, of course, wait I am sorry say that again." Shepard tilted her head giving William's a puzzled looks. Ashley mouth twisted "Alenko told me he spoke to you and everything was squared away. I must say I was surprised you started talking to me immediately I thought you would've slugged me at least you always seemed like somewhat of a loose cannon to me COmmander. I mean it was two years we all knew you were dead. I mean, thought you were dead. Use sleeping together I thought would've at least made you a little pissed but I didn't realize you had such tough skin. I am glad we can still keep close even if the Collectors come after us all. Anyway thats all I wanted to say." With that Ashley turned her heels and headed back down to the kitchen. Shepard stood with her sandwich

"What the hell?"

* * *

Authors Note: Hello Everyone hope you are enjoying the story so far if not then I am sorry you may publicly stone me if you like. So to clarify I KNOW that both Williams and Alenko don't survive but I mean its fanfiction and its okay if I do that because I don't think Bioware is going to come hunt me down and if they do then this is my warning to al you other writers. I am getting off topic. I hope you enjoy and keep reading I actually wrote this story as a small one shot and decided to try and see what would happen as a full length story. Hope you all enjoy watching Shepard private life become public


	4. Chapter 4: Hey Thanks

Shepard had been pacing her quarter devouring her sandwich and everything Ashley had told her. She could not bare herself to bring It up to Kaiden. Could that have been the thing kaiden seemed to have lost in the back of his mind when he spoke to her? First when Ashley had told her she punched the elevator then a door, now she was at the part she hated most: realization. To her it felt like one nights rest. Her thoughts, feelings, and her mission were still fresh to her and did not stop in her mind. The collectors and defeating the Reapers came first and when she woke up it was like she had just been taking down geth the day before but for everyone else to hadn't been a split second, they loved the two years they went though every day with her death. Did they not think she could survive no body was found? Kaiden finding comfort in another woman arms was indeed frustrating and yet as much as it hurt she understood. If she had lost Kaiden she would have eventually moved on. But what she could not figure out was what was bothering her most the fact that he was with someone else or that she could not hold it against of her thought and sick from eating a sandwich too fast she decided now was the perfect time to help Grunt figures out his anger issues.

* * *

Shepard made her way into Dr Chakwas office. During their trip to Tuchanka Shepard tried to prove her self as a l battle master for Grunt by head-butting a krogan. She didn't realize the massive headache she had until the shuttle back trying to keep it to herself as to not worry Grunt or Miranda. "Ah Commander," Dr Chakwas swiveled her chair around greeting Shepard with a friendly smile, "how may I assist you today?" She asked. Shepard sat down on one of the examine tables. If there was anyone she was always glad to see it was Chakwas. The woman had been a godsend to her ship no matter what Normandy it was she had heal them and cared for her especially for so ling she was family. "I found myself head first with a Krogan Clan leader today," Shepard rubbed her head softly "I was just hoping you could just give me a look at to be safe."

"Ah a bump on the head is hurting our immortal leader?" Dr Chakwas chuckled grabbing her equipment she began examine Shepard it involved a lot more of a physical than she had hoped for. Normally any Doctor would use a Omi-Tool and yet with Dr. Chakwas she always tried to be a little more physical considering Shepard came back from the dead. Next thing Shepard knew Dr Chakwas was check her blood pressure and pulse and had file pulled up on a data pad showing list of past injuries. Maybe hitting the Krogan gave her a brain aneurysm or popped a blood vessel. Shepard let the Doctor run her test removing her battle armor checking her reflexes and everything else. The door opened and Garrus walked in. "Oh so sorry I thought you might be free Doctor," Garrus shift a little trying to read what Shepard mood was to him but unfortunately for him her mood was to pretend the wall was very Interesting. "I was going to ask you to take some further examination of my scar male sure that it was doing all right."

Dr Chakwas lifted her head from the data pad examine his face from afar before speaking " well I seem to just be flooded with visitors today very rarely do more than one person want to see me at a time," she said putting the data pad down and heading over to her computer, "Shepard your head seems just be just fine however judging by your blood pressure and the bags under your eyes you are suffering from something else. You have a high stress problem which you need to control. I know your usual method is shooting things but this time. I suggest you try other methods." All this time Dr Chakwas had been typing on her commuter before getting up and typing in her data pad. Shepard began getting off the examination table before halted by the Doctor. "Its just stress," Shepard said avoiding Garrus gaze at her, " so sleep a little more thats It then I-"

"It Isn't that simple Commander I have some small remedies that will help with tour stress If you don't keep it in check you're looking at ulcers or cause more physical damage on yourself. You may be resurrected by you are still human." Dr Chakwas said looking through her omi-tool, "As for your Garrus I do have some time to look at your scars however if both of you could wait here a moment," She said going through her cabinets grabbing a syringe, "I have a certain Salarian doctor upstairs stealing my supplies who needs a 'talking to' now if you'll excuse me." With that Dr Chakwas was out the door. Shepard chuckled a little to herself at how much of a protective mother Dr Chakwas was about her own supplies or even her crew members.  
But the silence hit her hard. Garrus awkwardly stood at the door before either spoke.  
"Look Shepard I am just going to come out and say it," Garrus began walking over to Shepard still sitting on the exam table. "I know things have been a tad, awkward but I don't want that interfering with the mission. I was and I still am hoping that this wont injure what we have. You are a dear friend to me and without you I could not get past what haunted me." Garrus finished speaking his body now hovering over Shepard's. She was a tad stunned actually she never thought that the turian had thought of their friendship as that close. But like he said and like she told everyone this should be effecting what they are doing. How she was reacting was effecting him and her team and it was time to just stop obsessing. "Its okay Commander I know how hard it can be to resist me since I got scars. I have been attracting so many kinds of Krogan females since I got it I should've know it did the same to you." Garrus side trying to make the conversation easier.  
"Your right Garrus. I just have it bad for scars." Shepard said getting up and as fast as she could headed out the door.

* * *

Garrus was betwildered. Not only had Shepard blown off him talking but blaitently had just left the room with no explaination. Garrus had always thought of Shepard as this incredible ass kicking human and she was. But sometimes she was so hard on herself and on everyone else she seemed more robotic. What gave her the right to say 'Youre right' and leave the room without explantation. Garrus had been holding out and keeping far away from SHepard to respect her but for him to just give him the cold shoulder fristrated him to no end, Dr. Chakwas walked back into the room examing her omi-tool. "Well thatll keep that Doctor from taking my things again," Dr Chakwas looked arounds the room, "now where did Commander run off too?"  
"She was uh...called away. Actually there is something I need to attend to maybe you can look at my scars later." Garrus lied to the Doctor, "So something came up and I-  
Dr. Chakwas put some items in his hands, "Well since everyone is running off take these to Shepard tell her only one every night." Garrus tried not to groan or roll his eyes and tell the Doctor how he would rather be stabbed by a Husk but she turned around, went back to her desk, and pretended he wasn't in the room anymore.

Garrus all the way up to Shepard door had a conversation with himself in his head. Maybe Shepard was loosing it? Maybe he was just so attractive that she couldn't be near him. Maybe he said something stupid? But that never happens, okay he isn't a smooth talker but he couldn't have been that bad. Kelly did tell him that Shepard attacked her verbally in a elevator but they weren't involved really. Garrus rubbed him temples thinking about the situation he got himself stuck in. It was hard having attraction towards a human they always complicate things.

* * *

Authors Note:

Sorry it took me so long to write this I actually had it finished just needed to me read through but I have been a little busy with work and just havent had time but do not worry next chapter will be coming out soon! Thank you all of you for your wonderful support!


	5. Chapter 5: Dead and Buried

Shepard opened up her quarter doors to find Garrus as her door. "Cant take a hint huh?" Shepard said letting him in she had taken three shots whiskey before opening the door. "Look Garrus-"

"Don't worry Shepard Dr Chakwas just wants me to give these to you and I agreed because much to your dismay no one is aware you've had a turian in your bed." Garrus shoved the medication into her hand  
"She said take only one a night or something like that." Garrus turned his back to Shepard not sure what to say.  
Being alone with her was confusing. Seeing her was confusing. As for Shepard, she looked at him he had his shoulder hung and she knew she had pushed him a little too far. She had to let it go. Garrus was one of the very few rocks she had that she could lean on, I mean you wouldn't actually lean on a rock that is a little weird. Popping two of the pills into her mouth she gulped them down.

"Garrus I am sorry," Shepard said grabbing his shoulder turning him around, "I was too caught in this and I am sorry. I wanted to let you know that I downloaded the videos from that night."  
"I'm sorry you what?" Garrus was bewildered by what Shepard had said.  
"I downloaded the videos from the night everyone was drinking because I was curious how we ended up here." She admitted.  
And she had been. She wanted to know how they ended up their and what happened then maybe she would stop obsessing.  
"I did it but I want you to know I never watched it," she admitted to him, "I will let it go and whatever happened just happened and whatever happens in the future I wont obsess."  
Shepard sat down on her bed feeling light-headed and tingle. She had obsessed long enough and had enough of the galaxy to worry about. Not only that but her feelings for Kaiden still lingered. But she put a pin in that thought leaving it for another time to think about. Garrus sat down next to her. He started laughing "Shepard I have never had anyone obsess over me so much. Or care about one night so much. Maybe I should get more scars."  
Shepard blushed, "Shut up Garrus."  
He laughed so more looking down at her and she looked up at him. Her body felt like it was buzzing and everything was melting. Was she dying or was it the medication?  
Shepard face flushed her body temperature heating. She looked down at her medicine.

_Caution: Do not take with alcohol_

Garrus stood up walking over to the fish tank he stared at all the exotic fish Shepard had gotten from around the Citadel and Omega. He put this finger against the glass as the fish made their way to his finger expecting food.  
"Shepard," Garrus began watching the fish go crazy, "there is something that I must ask of you. Now I am not expecting the help or anything but, if possible I would like the help."  
Shepard unzipped her crewman shirt exposing her black tank top soaked through. Shepard did all she could to ignore they burning sensation inside of her. It was bad, it made her muscles feel relaxed it made her body warm and light and all she wanted to do was lay down forever. She tried to ignore the feeling focusing of Garrus words. She walked over to him pressing the button to feed her fish because honestly she was surprised they weren't dead she forgot all the time.

"What is it Garrus? Someone on Omega still got it out for you?" She said grabbing for a cup of was holding it against her head. She cold felt amazing on her skin and she tried not to moan from it. But she had to focus as Garrus explained his problem to her.

Garrus went on to explain the small team he had after Shepard's known 'death' he told her of them righting wrongs, taking the law into their own hands, and facing every gang and problem they could. Garrus told her of Sidonis, the turian who sold out his team on Omega, causing the death of all of his time minus the two of them. Sidonis was seen recently and it made Garrus body boil.

"He was last seen with Fade. Fade is a man know in the Citadel of making people 'disappear'." Garrus was getting riled up just talking about it.  
He was pacing her room as Shepard leaned against the fish taking feeling the cold glass on her skin.  
"Fade helps those who need to stay hidden from the law or problems. If Sidonis is on he Citadel he needs to be taken care of he has let too many good men die and needs to be taught a lesson of his own." Garrus clutched his fist looking over at Shepard, "I want to take him down Commander. I want him to feel the pain I felt and my men felt."  
"Garrus," Shepard took at good look at his face. He was serious not only that he was angry, an anger she had not seen in him when it came to geth or reapers. What this man did was taking its toll on him.  
"Of course I'll help Garrus what this guy did was wrong and I'll help you catch him." Shepard put her hand out and Garrus shook it, "Thank you Commander also you look very sweaty. Maybe you need some rest."

When Garrus left Shepard collapsed into her bed sleeping the most peaceful sleep she had in a long time.

* * *

The group silently waited in their car on the way to the Citadel. Garrus wasn't talking to anyone he was off in his own world he just kept playing with the safety on his gun. Shepard and Tali exchanged a glance. "Garrus are you alright?" Tali asked . Garrus looked up like he had forgotten that either of them were there. "Yes I am fine Tali why do you ask?"  
"Oh no reason, just that we were talking about the Normandy's calibration and you didn't even perk up once," Tali leaned back crossing her arms. "Usually that's your top subject."  
"Sorry I am just a tad distracted I am just trying to get a plan ready." Garrus said barley taking a look at either team member.  
"Do you even have a plan? Don't Turians war plan their showers?" Tali blurted out chuckling at her joke  
"Oh why yes Tali we want all be like quarians allergic to water, air, and everything else." Garrus scoffed rolling his eyes.  
"Well unlike turians-" Tali began but Shepard interrupted,  
"Stop it both of you, we are here for Garrus and we need to focus okay?"  
Garrus and Tali shifted in their seats grunting and mumbling small apologies. Shepard took at hard look at Garrus who on missions was always focused and excited to be writing wrongs. This time he wasn't; he looked uncomfortable. Garrus had this eating at him for so long and now that Sidonis was in his reach it was his time to finally come to peace. Garrus looked up at Shepard right as she turned to stare out the window.  
"Garrus do you know where on the Citadel this guy is?"

* * *

"Okay thank you Bailey." Shepard said walking away saluting the C-Sec officer before returning to her group.  
"Well Captain Bailey said that what the Volus we found in the warehouse said is too, Fade is somewhere in the Factory District. We went over what the volus said it is Harkin."  
They had followed a trail down to the warehouse to find a Volus and a couple Krogan claiming to be Fade. Fade ended up being a cover for the volus who, after having Garrus and Shepard gunning down his Krogan bodyguard, admitted that Fade was a former C-Sec officer Harkin.  
"Who is Harkin exactly?" Tali asked as the group made their way through the level passing the busy shops and large crowds. That was one thing that never changed at the Citadel was everyone was always going and going.

"Harkin is an old crooked C-Sec officer," Garrus explain letting a group of Salarian cut between them, "Harkin has a drug problem, he takes brides and never deserved his title. You would think that being one of the first human C-Sec officers he would've been a better person but he is just a disgrace."

"Actually we have one thing to thank Harkin for Garrus," said Shepard almost getting run over by a Elcor she fell sideways Garrus catching her. Bringing her to her feet she stood for a moment his arm around her hip, "I wouldn't have met you or found out in the medical offices." Shepard blushed slighty pas he let go of her. Garrus smirked before hearing the awkward cough from Tali.

"Anyways. Harkin? You were saying?" Tali said slightly annoyed. To her seeing Shepard like this was weird and unusual. Normal humans were awkward and clumsy but this was Shepard those words were not in her vocab. Those were probably words that Shepard didn't even know that's how odd it was. Tali was spectacle of these awkward glances between Garrus and Shepard it had hapend since the party. Maybe Shepard said something horrible to Garrus and he hid in the corner like turians do. Nevertheless now was not the time to decode the problem it would need to wait til later because as of right now Shepard had been talking and Tali had not heard a word she said.  
"So if Harkin knows where Sidonis is we need to corner him and get him to talk." Shepard had said not missing a beat they made their way to the terminal for the factory district.

When they had arrived to the factory district they got ambushed by the Blue Suns gang. Harkin leading them took off running leaving the Blue suns to fight them off. Shepard, Garrus, and Tali ducked behind some crates taking cover shooting the Blue Suns down.  
"We can't lose him Shepard!" Garrus shouted over the noise of the bullets. "We have to follow him in!"  
'Well that maybe a little hard when we are being shot at!" Shepard barked back rushing a gang member knocking him down with the but of her gun.  
"We need to stay back! Wait til we can get through!" Tali shouted ducking from a grande thrown at her.  
"Shepard!" Garrus yelled throwing a guy over his shoulder  
"Shepard!" Tali yelped sliding behind a crate to get away from gunfire.

Shepard stood a moment looking around her surroundings everything began moving slowly. She breathed slowly closing her eyes for a moment before everything moved right back on track.  
"Tali stay back keep the men on Garrus sides at bay," Shepard spat the orders out gunning down a man on the other side of Talis crate "Garrus we will cover you I'll cover your front just get to Harkin before we lose him! Now go! Both of you!"

"Yes Commander!" they both replied getting into place. Shepard climbed the crates making her way across the warehouse shootings down the men in front of Garrus as he began using his gun as bat on a Blue Suns gang member in front of him. As they made their way to the back of the warehouse they could see Harkin locking himself in the back office. The Warehouse machines turned on making everything from machines to gurney get in their way.

A couple of Blue Suns and one controlling a mech made their way from a back door. Shepard pushed pass a moving platform shouting "Get those controls down team!"  
Tali swiftly made her way to the opposite side of the warehouse using her drone to keep the gang members distracted while Garrus got behind the control panel shutting down all the machines in the warehouse. Shepard took down the giant mech from behind. She jumped the mech breaking the glass pulling the gang member out as Garrus shot at its legs keeping the robot from being used again. Shepard jumped rolling down the warehouse ramp as the robot fell over. Garrus held his hand out for the Commander and she gladly took it.  
"Guard the door Tali," Garrus commanded making his way into the office.

* * *

Garrus had almost beaten Harkin to death for the information on Sidonis. Shepard ended up intervening pushing Garrus off so he was to not kill the guy. Garrus laughed calling Shepard out as Garrus bitch which only led to Garrus shooting him in the leg.  
The trio was riding in the transport their boots covered in blood from Harkins legs. Garrus was looking out the window as Shepard was trying to find out if killing this man is the right thing to do  
"Everything I have learned Shepard I have learned from you."  
"Excuse me?" Shepard responded with a raised eyebrow.  
"You taught me to be like this. Telling me now that maybe this man who has murdered so many innocent should live is not the Shepard I know." Garrus retorted to Shepard asking if this was the right thing to do.  
"He doesn't deserve life and that is my choice"  
"Garrus," Shepard sighed, "I am not saying he deserves life you can turn him into C-Sec but not only that you could end this kill streak. In the end Garrus it is your choice. I just need to know what your plan is."  
In the end Garrus decided that Shepard would distract him at the lounge and he would snipe him from far. In the end thew choice was always going to up to him and not her but he had to know their were other options so that he wouldn't have any regrets. But when it came time Shepard stood to the side letting Garrus get his shot. SHe understood the rage and revenge he felt and she wouldn't take that away from him. Garrus wanted them man dead to write his wrongs and he did. Shepard explained to him in the transport his choices and what he could do instead of taking his life and she would never hold it against him.


	6. Chapter 6: But Breathing

_**Author Note: Heads up end of this chapter is rated R for raunchy and inappropriate. You are more than welcome to skip it was that part is 18 and up (Thats why this series is rated M) If you have a problem do not report it just skip it. I will even put in a a double line to warn you.**_

"No. Some remedies cannot be solved with technology," Dr Chakwas chuckled, "Honestly Commander you'll be all right just take one before bed and it will keep you calm no more knocking you on your ass." She patted the Commander on the shoulder.

Shepard jumped off of the examination table thanking Dr Chakwas one more time before leaving her office. Looking around the Crew Deck she saw Kelly gawking over Thane who was meditating. Shepard shook her head knowing that Kelly was a one woman love machine that was just going to keep going until she found the species that would heavily flirt back. However she doubt that the species was a drell especially Thane. Kelly looked over to see Shepard looking at her and quickly without a second thought shuffled for the elevator.  
Its was nice to know that Shepard's words had stuck even though she had been a tad harsh. Maybe later she would apologize or try to pass it off as a joke, maybe she'll have Joker help her with that.  
Shepard went for the fridge grabbing herself a water thinking about the last couple of days and everything that had happened. Overtime the news of Kaiden and Ashley become less and less like a sting. Even though it stung she could not blame either of them for their choices because they thought she was gone for good. However next time she saw Kaiden he would be getting a slap in the face.

She pulled the bottled water from her lips her eyes hovering over to the weapons room. Garrus had himself held up in that room since they got back at first she didn't want to bother him but she knew at some point he needed to come out. Shepard tapped her fingers on the counter trying to think of a way to not just barged and say 'Hey sorry you killed a guy that deserved and are rethinking some things'. Shepard sighed heavily.  
"Hello Commander," Sergeant Gardner came in hands full of dirt dishes. "anything I can help you with? Looking for something to eat?"

"Oh no. No thank you." Shepard said politely. Sergeant Gardner maybe the ships cook but with the supplies they had on the Normandy 'cook' is not the word she would use. A light went off in her head.

"Actually Sergeant Gardner there might be something you can help me with."

"Sure Commander what do you need?" Sergeant Gardner replied energetically. He just seemed happy he would have something to do that wasn't dish duty.

"Do you have anything here that a turian could eat or drink? I mean something a bit special?"

"Special eh?" Gardner rubbed the back of his neck thinking hard about Shepard's question. Sergeant Gardner snapped his fingers. "I got the perfect thing."

* * *

"Knock Knock," Shepard said coming into the weapons room. She knew that he probably heard the door and she was horrible at banter but it was worth a shot. Garrus turned around looking up at Shepard with a slight surprise.

"Oh Commander I was just in the middle of some-"

"calibration?" She interrupted laughing a little. calibration was always his child. "How are the guns for the Normandy coming along?"

"Ha yes well very well. With the upgrades you have provided for the ship have helped extremely well. This ships guns are going to take out a million Reapers," Garrus said as he ran his hands through the screen making it larger.

"Look here see this shows how it was running before we made the necessary adjustments," Garrus pointed at some meters in the corner.  
Shepard looked in awe at some of the changed made with the guns.

"Fascinating," Shepard whispers looking at all the stats.

"Fascinating? You find large guns fascinating?" Garrus gave her a puzzled look. "No one finds guns fascinating but well, me."

"I like to see progress. I like to see the change and know that not only my team but my ship will be ready for anything. I always love to know that some things are changing and to know we are one step closer to victory. With victory comes more bloodshed from the reapers." Shepard said in slight amazement biting her lip.  
Garrus looked down at her and he still couldn't believe it that she was taking an interest. It made sense to want to know your ship is at full capacity but she made it sound so delightful and bloodthirsty it made him feel a bit strange. Garrus watched her look over all the statistic and checking every valve and button she could and it was something he had not seen before and it was a tad thrilling. Garrus looked down at the commanders hands.

"Commander what is that?"

"Oh this?" Shepard looked down at her hands she had completely forgotten the cup she had held. "This is for you its Tisane." Shepard handed the cup over to him. Garrus couldn't believe it this feeling he was having not only that but Shepard had taken the time to not only find turian tea but make it for him. Garrus took a sip and to even more of a surprise it was delicious. It reminded him of calmer times at C-Sec being stuck at a desk and it reminded him of the times before his close calls with Shepard and being Archangel.

"I knew you had been down," Shepard said turning around leaning against the control panel, "I know that choice was easy or I don't know if it wasn't. I am just glad that the door there is closed and that those men who lives were taken will no longer be taken in vain. You did the right thing Garrus don't ever think you didn't."

"Shepard I didn't think I made the wrong choice like I had said everything I believe is what I have learned from running around the galaxy with you," Garrus said taking a sip from his tea, "all of this is not possible without you and I knew that if I wanted change if I wanted to see some improvement if I wanted something to believe in I had to ask myself 'What Would Shepard Do?' and then I knew."

"You knew that I would put a bullet in Sidonis head?" Shepard tilted her head to the side

"I knew that if you found a gangster or ex con who killed those righting wrongs you would put him where he belongs and I want to thank you for helping me get there. Even if things have been a tad weird since you found a turian in bed."

Shepard blushed slightly she had forgotten about being in bed with Garrus, not completely though. In the back of her mind she wondered how it had been what it had been like and quite honestly sometimes just his voice made her think a bit dirty. Honestly at first it had been weird and awkward and she wanted nothing more than to ignore everyone like the plaque but every Commander has their obstacles her just happened to be sleeping with one of her squad members It could've been worse thought she would've killed him.

"Not weird Garrus," said Shepard biting her lip a little her eyes moving slowly up at him and it made him feel something in the lower part of his armor. "Just something I was not expecting. I have been under some stress but I know we all have."

"Hmm you know Shepard I remember this one mission, me and this recon scout had been at each other's throats, nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring." Garrus said putting his tea down on the panel next to Shepard.

"Really? What happened? Kick her ass?"

"Actually, she and I were the two best hand to hand combatants on the ship. I had reach, she had flexibility. It was brutal. After 9 rounds, the judges declared it a draw. A lot of unhappy bettors in the other room. We, uh, ended up having a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, she had flexibility. More than one way to work off stress, I guess. "

"Garrus..." Shepard said softly looking up at him into his blue eyes as if she had seen them for the first time, "What are you saying?"

"I am just saying that there are many ways to deal with stress." Garrus went to the door and locked it he went over to the Commander and tried not to breathe heavily over the her but he looked at her and by the gods it had killed him to know her in bed to know what it had been like. At first he figured it was one night stand but seeing his Commander stress over it and seeing her when he awoke made him so goddamn curious. Shepard pushed her brown hair back biting her lip turning slightly red.

"Shepard." Garrus groaned a little his mandibles flaring.

"W-what?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" She looked at him puzzled

"That damn thing with your lip that you started doing since you came in here with that tea."

"It's because some of that tea got on my lip and its turian so-" Garrus interrupted Shepard he grabbed her face pulling it toward him he kissed her. His mandibles against her face was something she had never felt before but god did it feel amazing and she loved it. Picking her up he pushed her onto the panel she was leaning against knocking the tea straight to the ground the glass shattering. The panel began to malfunction but, lips still locked, Shepard used her hand to find the off switch. Finally they pulled apart with Garrus arms around her waist looked down at his Commander. Her greens eyes shiny and bright with excitement and he didn't want to waste a moment because he knew Shepard. Shepard grabbed the latches to his armor trying to unhook them but Garrus stopped her.

"Wouldn't you rather do this somewhere a bit more...comfortable?" Garrus mumbled his mouth making its way from her lips to her neck.

"If we move from this spot will we be second guessing all the way to the room?" She pulled his face up holding it in her hand trying to hide her slight worry. Garrus stood over her searching her face and searching her eyes for something.

"But humans are so squishy..." Garrus began to say as Shepard rolled her eyes grabbing the front of his armor she pulled him into her.

* * *

He knew at some point for both logic would kick in and they would both know they couldn't do this but now in this very moment he was perfectly okay with making with making a mistake and so was she. Garrus ran his mouth slowly along Shepards neck causing her to moan slightly a sound he enjoyed. Shepard unzipped the front of her crewman's shirt throwing it to the floor as Garrus grabbing her tank top and with his talons tore it off. Shepard unhooked her bra as Garrus kept his mouth on her neck slowly moving it toward her collar-bone. Shepard's hands guided along his neck and she felt his hard exoskeleton and she searched for the latches once more.

With the latches off and his armor to the floor for the first time Shepard saw a turian body. She ran her fingers along his stomach up to his neck feeling the hard parts of his exoskeleton. It was shiny and hard a slight brown and blue she was so enamored by it. His hips were slender but his upper body by the gods she wanted to be devoured in it. Garrus ran his talons along her backs giving such a chill he knew that humans were squishy creatures but they're were some soft parts he enjoyed. Garrus had been with a asari before and the bodies were about the same except Shepard lower region wasn't fifty shades of blue but her breast were so plump and not only that they were perky. Soft as not to hurt her his began to suck them softly and tender. Shepard moaned shifting around from the feelings in between her legs. Garrus massaged her breast and just watching her reaction was making his exoskeleton shift. Slowly his mandibles still on her breast he took hold of Shepard moving her to the floor. It was cold on her skin but the feelings she was having were making her body hot and wet and it felt amazing. Garrus adjusted his body over Shepard watchings her get wet between her legs he wanted so badly to lick her clean but knew that the human juices would make him ill. Instead he slowly as not to harm his commanding officer ran his talon slowly inside of her reaching her inner body.

"Garrus," she cried softly jerking up throwing her arms around him her nails digging into him but he didn't mind he had the hardest body there was and it didn't affect him.

He continued to run his fingers inside of her slowly in and out watching her body jerk the fluid rushing out of her. But Shepard couldn't wait anymore she needed him inside of her. She was foreign to the turian body and not to ruin the moment jerky her body from his she gave Garrus a sheepish look

"So how does this work?" she asked

"How does what work?" Garrus nuzzled his mouth back to her neck pushing fingers deep in her she moaned his name

"Where is you...weapon?" she didn't know how to word it to him but he pulled away taking her hand putting it between her legs.

"Its inside to protect from radiation I just need a little...help."

"Say no more." Shepard said not wasting a moment she pushed Garrus back crying out a little as his talon came out dripping from her insides. She grabbed his fingers from inside of her putting them in her mouth sucking on her own juices staring at Garrus seductively. Garrus mandibles twisted his body shifted. Shepard sat herself on top of him riding him as she bit into the side of his neck taking her rands and rubbing the cavity between his legs. Garrus watched Shepard breast press against him her hands going up and down between behind his head she jerked his head to the side whispering to him

"Take me Garrus like the godforsaken turian that you are," the spot on his body opened and Shepard felt his warm throbbing area with juices and god was it big. Now Garrus was ready to take control he took ahold of Shepard turning her body around he forced himself inside of her doggy style. Shepard cried out his name making him squirt inside of her a tad. Garrus took a hold of Shepard arms so her body stayed mid-air and he forced himself in and out of her from behind. And god her body moving drove him crazy he didn't need to see her face to know how she was feeling her moans were enough. He let go of one of her arms grabbing her breast fondling them while he had his way with her. Shepard cried out his name once more before pulling him out of her. Shepard laid down on the ground and Garrus got on top of her putting himself back in as she wrapped her legs and arms around him and he didn't go easy he pushed harder and harder inside of her. He loved watching her breast mouth and her biting her lip. Shepard tried putting her hand over her mouth but Garrus took it away.

"I want to hear you say my name," he purred in her hear in the goddamn voice that gave him whatever he wanted. So she did she called out his name and he went fast and faster there was a slight sensation burning but they both ignored it.

"Garrus...I...I" she tried to say unable to get the words out he grunted over her in agreement and he kept going faster his talons cutting into the back of her back laving marks but she didn't care. Garrus made her climax and he pulled out his juices training down him onto the floor. Shepard grabbed between her legs feeling her juices dripping outside of her. They both sat up exasperated, panting they looked at each other.

* * *

"Again." Shepard said sweaty and panting.

"Sex? Already?" the turian kissed her "Sorry about the marks but Jacks right youre a biter."

Soon after up until the reaper attack the stress relief Garrus provided became a regular thing.

* * *

** Another note: Hi everyone this is not the end of this fun series the next part will take place during ME3 and I wanted to warn you all just in case you have not played it yet. However I want to point out I am no english major I make mistakes like we all do so please know I try all I can. I am not a perfect writer and honestly half of this concept floated into my head one day and I quickly jotted down the intro. I also want to thank you all for your support and kind words and it truly means a lot. Dont be a stranger **  
**Anyways, have a good day. I am hungry in case any of you were wondering**


	7. Chapter 7: Empty Glass

The door to the entrance of the Normandy opened slowly. Kelly Chambers stood in front of the door with her data pad checking over the Commander messages and notifications from the Illusive Man. Once the door opened she looked up to see a very distress looking Commander.  
Shepard hobbled in a very sleek black dress with broken pearls around her neck, her red high heels only one had a heel the other had broken.  
"Commander," Kelly gasped a little as the Commander limped by her to the elevator "What happened?"

"Oh she got into a little trouble," Kasumi said with a slight delight as she bounced her way out of the Normandy entrance behind Shepard, "Commander was helping me retrieve something from Donovan Hock the arms dealer. Our plan was to make it to the vault easily but there was a few snags along the way."

"A few?" Shepard scoffed trying to smooth down her hair it had looked like she had driven the Normandy with the hatches open, "You fight a crew of Eclipse in high heels in a dress and then we will talk." Kasumi and Kelly exchanged a glance laughing.

"You did well Commander and thank you. I got my graybox and you got to kick ass in style. plus Hock got what he deserved." Kasumi said a small smile on her face. The graybox had belong to her past partner Okuda. Okuda's graybox was the world to Kasumi it had his whole life and being and information that was important to her on there. Shepard knew Kasumi would feel more at peace once they would see what was on it but she did not want to rush Kasumi. Shepard put her hand on Kasumi shoulder. "Kasumi when you are ready to go through the graybox just call for me."

Kasumi nodded holding the graybox tightly in her hand knowing whatever was left of Okuda was in there. All that he had given here was left on there and nothing was standing in her way anymore. All she had to do was finally go through it. "Yes Commander, I just need a moment or two." Kasumi said in a low tone the small smile still on her face. Kasumi took off to the elevator most likely to her usually couch on the crew deck in silence. Shepard watched her walking away homely hoping that whatever was on that graybox would bring peace at least a little to Kasumi. Shepard dusted off the bottom of her dress with was torn up her thigh. Shepard thought she had done pretty well without getting a chance to get to her armor.

"Commander, there are some new messaged for you. One from the Illusive Man." Kelly went back to her station by the galaxy map pulling up some of the Commanders files and messages from her data pad. Her eyes shifted a little and she played with her fingers looking at the screen.

"Something wrong Chambers?" Shepard asked walking over to her own terminal to check her messages.

"Uhm Commander. There is a message you may want to take up in your quarters." Kelly said moving a filed so it popped up on Commander Shepards terminal. Shepard looked at the title of the messages and her stomach fell into her feet.

"Oh. Yes Kelly thank you I will take your word thank you. Anything else?" Shepard hands shook a little as she walked over to the elevator waiting for it to arrive.

"The upgrades that we have added to the Normandys shields had finally come in and the crew is making preparations to upgrade them as we speak. This is our last upgrade we will need before heading to the Omega 4 Relay." Kelly said handing a data pad to the Commander, "Here is everything about all the upgrades we have done if you want to take a look through it."

"Thank you Kelly that will be all for now." Shepard took the data-pad as she boarded the elevator pressing for the top floor to her room.

The whole way up she looked at the data pad but her eyes were glazed over. The message that Kelly had shown her mad her knees ache slightly. Personally she didn't want to read it. But, something like closure was something that during war you didn't come across too easily. Her eyes shifted through the rest of her messages all of which she opened. One from the Illusive Man about the Omega 4 Relay another from some scientist about a large amount of Palladium on Neith. The elevator pinged as it opened to her Quarters. Garrus was waiting for her leaning against the door that opened up to her room. They both stood in the silence small space between the door to her Quarters and the Elevator.

"Hey," Garrus said smoothly "You look like hell."

"Yeah? How about you make me feel better." Shepard unzipped her dress letting it fall into a clump onto the ground. Garrus eyes widened a little as the Commander walked passed him opening the door to her room in just her broken heels and lingerie.

"Goddamn," Garrus said under his breath following her into her room like a puppy.

* * *

Shepard blinked away the sleepiness in her eyes as she stared at her screen. She still had not opened the message and it had been 4 days. It wasn't that she didn't have the time she did. Even with the preparations to fight their way through the Omega 4 Relay she was constantly at her terminal getting ready. Plus Garrus had made many more visits to her room recently and she was using it as an excuse to not open the email. Shepard had got other emails of course and she had opened each one except the one. Every time she thought about the message her stomach made her a little stick so she would go make herself busy or find Garrus. One time she even corned him in the Mens restroom completely naked demanding him right then and there just to avoid her terminal. But, she had to open it especially before the suicide mission because what if? What if she didn't make it?

"Commander, she has arrived would you like me to send her up?" Kelly Chambers came over the intercom to her room

Shepard pressed the button on her desk "Yes thank you Chambers"

* * *

"Wow the Commander Shepard has requested me." Liara T'soni walked into Shepards room arm crossed and with a large spectiacal look on her face.

"Liara," a warm smile spred across Shepards face she got up and hugged her friend, "How is it being the new Shadow Broker?"

"It has its ups and downs takes a lot to learn but Glyph has helped me," Liara sat down on Shepards couch as Shepard brought over some drinks. "Hopefully I am able to make a better impression in the galaxy than the last one," Liara held her glass up to Shepards, "Cheers."

"I am sorry I called you so late at night I know you and I have plans in a couple of days to meet," Shepard took sip of her drink. "I know its four in the morning but I needed the company," She gulped down her drink going for a second.

"Don't you have a certain turian to call into your sheet this late in the evening?" Liara snickered a little taking small sips while Shepard almost spit out her drink. Shepard sized up her friend and grinned, "I should have know that the new Shadow Broker knew everything,"

"I do have my ways Commander now I assumed I was called for a reason? Besides you knowing I was up. Time does move very differently in my station. But how is Garrus anyways?" Liara took another sip getting more comfortable while the Commander shifted a little more adjusting her shirt multiple times.

"Garrus is good. Things are staying very...mutual..."

"Mutual?" Liara leaned forward curious, "How so?"

"We have been in bed together. Also other places of the Normany," Shepard held up her hand before Liara could say anything "No I will not say where. But, we are keeping it casual not to form a relationship or feelings. Were about to dive head first into reapers and the last thing I need is for either of us to lose focus."

"Are you worried that you are forming feelings?" Liara sat closer to Shepard putting her hand on her knee, "You do not look well Shepard have you been sleeping?" Liara was talking about the bags under Shepards eyes which had formed over time. Shepard nodded swirling her drink around in the glass

"Yes, Dr. Chakwas has given me something for stress and believe me with Garrus he is keeping my body from stress. I am not worried about what will happen between us but..."

"But..."

"But what if everything I have done is wrong? Cerberus? Joining them? What if all of this was the wrong choice?" Shepard said standing up moving over to her bed she put her glass next to her bedside. Liara's face softened moving over she knelt in front of the Commander grabbing her hands hard causing Shepard to look down and meet her face.

"Commander Shepard Alliance officer, N7, and Spectre of the Normandy. That is who you are and that is who you will always be. You can join the Blue Suns you can kill me and become the next Shadow Broker but you will never stop being any of those things. You were chosen for Alliance and as a Spectre for a reason. You give the galaxy hope, and you gave those of us who felt like we had little purpose more hope than you could ever imagine. I would not have chosen to be the next Shadow Broker without you much like Joker would not have agreed to join Cerberus unless you would be there. You are the glue and you will always be the glue but never forget who you are. Look at those around you at your side trusting you and believing in you then you will never regret the choice you made."

Shepard blinked away a tear forming as she grabbed Liaras hands in return. "Thank you T'Soni for always believing."

"Same to you Shepard. Now I hope that you get some rest as we still have plans in a couple of days and I may or may not have a gift for you." Liara stood up patting the Commander on the shoulder before letting herself out. Somehow no matter had happened Liara had always been there knowing what Shepard needed and being that. Liara had never stopped supporting her knowing that the choices she made had been for the best even if not for herself. It was time to stop doubting herself and to get out of her funk. She had Reapers to kill and a Galaxy to save she cannot be getting cold feet now. This was not her. This person she was being with feelings and emotions needed to come to an end at least until the end of this mission.  
Shepard got up and headed over to her terminal.  
Sitting down in her chair she finally opened up her Message Terminal to a message titled "**_About Horizon..._**"

**_Shepard,_**

_I know we have let the past be the past but I am sorry for what Ashley told you on the Normandy. I am sorry you heard it from her and not me. I should have told you and I wanted to and I tried but seeing you and talking with you just...it had been so long. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I was finally able to and it happen to be with Ashley. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with Ashley on the Citadel. All I was doing was trying to let myself have a life again, you know?_

_Then I saw you, and everything inside just felt new. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. With Ashley I know wrapping your mind around it is hard but you have to understand me rapping my mind around you coming back to live. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me... maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside. _

_But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die - on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself._

_When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care._

**___-Kaidan_**

Shepard sighed hearing her door open as Garrus came in "Shepard I know it is late but can we talk?"

"Goddammit..."

* * *

Authors note: This is the end everyone! Just kidding guess what? The story continues!

It continues here!

s/10081116/1/Strange-Comforts


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